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Sun, Jul. 31st, 2005, 03:09 pm

I miss myself. I really do. As time goes on, I feel like I am forgetting who I am, and what I stand for. All this time I have been telling myself that I havent changed. But I have. I am not so full of hope as I once was. I am not so trusting of people. Instead of being "nieve" and thinking everyone has good intentions like i used to, I think everyone is looking for the worst. I think everyone is judging everyone, I am judging everyone, and I cant stand it. The truth is I miss being nieve. I miss just loving people. I miss not caring about superficial things. I miss not having to deal with work issues. When did work become so overly important? I work for a company I used to LOVE with all my heart, and now I feel like it is ruining me. It is no longer the same place it used to be. Is it because I am a manager now? Do I just see things I never used to? I dont think so. I think everything is just growing to fast and getting out of hand. EVerything, everywhere. Today I crave the city. I want to move back to Boston so bad. Why did I ever let anyone talk me out of it? There is a life lesson here. When I want to do something I need to do it, or ill just end up regretting it. Thats another change. I am always playing it safe now. When did that happen? I never used to regret anything. Now i have something to regret. Thank God I have Jesse. The only person in the world who understands everything.

Sat, Aug. 20th, 2005 02:08 am (UTC)
cath619: hi sweetie

Hiya Angela... I've been meaning to call you for so long now. I have the same feelings about this job! Oh well. I'll try to call you tomorrow afternoon so we can catch up. I hope you're not working! I miss you. -cath